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My Mental, Emotional and Psychological Response to the Trauma of the Collision and Being Permanently Disfigured: Backstory on Mental Health

So that I may present both a judge and the public with an account of why, exactly, my contract with these ambulance-chasing leeches shouldn’t be valid, I’m writing a series of posts in response to how I dealt with the hospital stay and the amputation and permanent disfigurement of my right foot. I have a timeline of my whole stay via my Twitter stream with dates, times, and descriptions of how I felt. The night before I signed the contract I posted “It would have been easier if I had died in the wreck. 9:54 PM Apr 30th” along with varying other messages that prove I was not of sound judgement. My medical records indicate just how many drugs I was on, the fact that I talked to a chaplain the night before, and other factors that support my assertion. The lawyers have lied repeatedly to me and my family and the only mention of payment is when they speak of paying themselves. I’ve tried firing them multiple times, but then they start threatening us with litigation. This is part one, an overview of my mental health. 

In middle school I was bullied badly. During those formative years, I was relentlessly teased. My then-best friend ended up befriending my bully in 8^th grade and it felt like she abandoned me for the more popular crowd. She did ask him “why Katie?” and he responded along the lines of “I dunno; felt like it.” One can go through my diaries in that time period and read about how sad I was. Though parts of it were growing pains, had I not been picked on, it would not have been as bad. That’s where I can trace the depression starting.

I was pretty OK through high school. I started to play Viola junior year and absolutely loved it. In the increased practice and different sizes between the necks of the violin and viola, I developed tendonitis in both arms and shoulders. I was just starting to get really good musically. I had played for 10 years at that point. Since I was going to a performing and visual arts school, when I had to quit music, I never quite got away from it for a time of grief over losing something so important. All my friends still got to play, but I didn’t. I gave a senior recital on February 10, 2006 and went to Vienna, Salzberg, and Prague with my symphony Spring Break of the same year.

I applied to UH only. I knew I’d get in, and there was no use bothering with anywhere else because I was going to end up there anyway. Before my injury, I wanted to be a music therapist and take classes at SHSU. Since I loved Fed Challenge and economics so much in high school, I decided on Finance-Global Energy Management in the Honors College. I went for a year before I lost all momentum and dedication. I switched my major to Sociology with an emphasis on Gender Studies. I loved the subject matter, but by that point I was so depressed that didn’t have the motivation. I passed my two summer classes and tried HCC in the fall. I had little respect for the teacher, my classmates, and the institution, so I stopped going. I had little respect for HCC because I got 100s on every single assignment and test in my psychology class; no one is perfect.

During most of my time in college, I was also dating a complete loser who cheated on me for the entire duration of our relationship. (Low self-esteem on part of the female will do wonders for the dating circle of Cro-Magnon.)

My weight fluctuated and I lost almost 40 pounds in two months. My doctor at the time didn’t see my symptoms and just recommended I don’t dip below 120 pounds. I developed a pseudo-allergy to gluten– it was just in my head. 

I finally broke it off with him, started treatment for depression, and found a wonderful young man. I was doing well with my treatment and therapy until the day of the accident.

 

At the end of February 2009, my health insurance was cut off with only about a week’s notice. I’d had surgery at the beginning of the month and still required follow-up visits for pathology reports and infectious disease doctors. I barely started seeing a psychiatrist when it got cut off, too. I put in my two weeks’ notice and begged my then-boss to extend the coverage through the end of March. It takes 3 weeks to find new coverage and some of my coworkers had 4 kids and a husband to provide for. He extended it. I was turned down for insurance 3 times due to “underwriting risk,” which is just code for “You cost too much but since we can’t deny you based on medical history, we’re just making up a vague reason. Enjoy not having insurance!”

 

I got a new job that started near the end of March. I was going to have health insurance paid for by the new job, I was making an actual wage on which I could survive and save money; things were looking up! I changed my therapy appointments to an as-needed basis and got my scooter.  

April 15th I turned 21. On the 18th I had a party. On the 23rd at 7:55am the woman ran the stop sign and my life changed forever.

2 Responses to “My Mental, Emotional and Psychological Response to the Trauma of the Collision and Being Permanently Disfigured: Backstory on Mental Health”

1. 

   Carlos
   June 6, 2009 at 5:06 pm »

   Hello friend, Im a twitter follower, but havent been on twitter for some time, at least not reading much. I am really sorry to hear about your accident and well, I can only wish you the best on your recovery. You really painted a vivid picture of how it all went down and I have to say I think you are such a brave person for enduring so much pain and agony. I really really wish you can recover from this situation, phisically and emotionally. My best wishes.

2. 

   Katie
   June 6, 2009 at 7:40 pm »

   I’ve been reading about it, and I’ll never come to terms with my foot. It’ll just be “tolerated.” I’m excited.
   I have a long road ahead.