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Archive for the ‘mental health’ Category

A bad case of the “What if”s.

About a week post-accident, I started up on the “what if” in my life.
What if I’d never gotten injured and was still a musician?
What if I’d been able to stick with UH and Honors College?
What if I’d never gotten that scooter? What if I’d waited a few days to get it? 
What if I’d been running [...]

X-Rays and Infections!

Sweet sassy molassy… I noticed that the top of my foot was looking a bit raw. In the shower the other night, it hurt to have water droplets land on top of my foot. I had very tender skin, it was bright red and shiny, and I was having foul-smelling yellow discharge. I was pretty [...]

Returning to Almost-Normal Life…

I went back to work today for the first time since the collision. They left my desk exactly as I left it: all my toys were still there. Hee.
I was actually happy and excited to wake up at 6:30 again. The only time I got kind of anxious is when I was on my way [...]

Duress and Capacity

I’ve been meaning to write this for about a week now. I haven’t been able to focus for much longer than a few minutes. 
That contract should NOT be valid. I was under a ridiculous amount of stress, on enough pain pills to put a herd of cattle to sleep, I’d had several surgeries in the [...]

Sleep

Sleep isn’t coming as easily anymore. I was up until 4 this morning, trying to sleep, losing the battle. I finally wheeled into the kitchen for one of mom’s ambien. Slept from probably 5 to 10am. Not nearly enough. I need to see about getting some sleeping pills of my own. Trazodone doesn’t cut it [...]

Pain

In the first day I was admitted, I was given too much morphine and coded that night. Nurses weren’t able to wake me up. When I did come to, I had an ice pack on my chest and was surrounded by 6 or 7 nurses. After that episode, I wasn’t allowed morphine and had to endure the pain with oral pain pills exclusively. It did not work well.

My Mental, Emotional and Psychological Response to the Trauma of the Collision and Being Permanently Disfigured: Backstory on Mental Health

The night before I signed the contract I posted “It would have been easier if I had died in the wreck.9:54 PM Apr 30th.”